Parent Bloggers. Are We Putting Our Children in Danger as They get Older 

As a parent blogger I have begun to wonder that as I chronicle my four year old twin girls  lives, am I leaving them open to ridicule and bullying from school friends or friends as they grow older? The thought that crossed my mind is are we possibly giving out too much information about our children online?

This thought all came about because my 19 year old daughter text me recently to say that a  post I had written about 12 months ago which I revived in a tweet had a couple of sentences that she found embarrassing and she didn’t want her friends to see it. This shocked me because I never thought for one minute her friends read my blog, let alone knew I had a blog, but apparently they do. Needless to say I removed it instantly. Which is something I will always do. With my older children I have as a general rule run posts passed them first, to make sure they are happy with them. My intention is never to embarrass them as I write about them growing up and my relationship with them. It’s just simply to leave an electronic footprint for them to read one day, and hopefully relive some memories that they may have forgotten.

All of this got me thinking very carefully about how much information I divulge about my four year old twin girls. Am I going into to much detail of every milestone or adventure in their short lives because as the adult I have to be responsible about how much I disclose of their childhoods, because of course they can’t have a decision on what I publish simply because of their age.

At the moment they are in the first year of their education so their friends in school have no idea that in our case that Mummy and Daddy write blogs which are family based, so they simply can’t be ridiculed or embarrassed by us because their friends aren’t old enough to read or understand, but as they head into junior school their friends could read something which although when written I considered possibly insignificant or funny, but when they are 10 or 11 years old it may be not so funny and could easily be taken out of context by friends, leaving our children vulnerable and open to bullying.

I have like many other parent bloggers chronicled my children’s lives in full detail. I rarely hold back and usually include the good, the bad and the sometimes ugly.

The question I am now asking myself is that although I want my blog to be real and people to engage with my writing, should I be holding back just a little to protect my children especially my four year old twins who are growing up where social media and the internet are going to be a huge part of their lives, and of course social media is a great place place to socialise, but it is also in danger of being a very nasty vindictive place which people of course can do so often do anonymously. Which is very frightening.

If you google your blog and click on images you will be shocked at how many pictures of your children will come up. It certaintly shocked me. For all the world to see.

Writing a family/parenting blog has without question been a joy to do and I have always felt I have acted responsibly with my posts and photos of my children, but even so am I putting them at risk or in danger? After all I have no idea who is reading it.

Would love to know your thoughts on the subject and do you hold back what you publish about your children especially when they are young and unable to decide for themselves?

44 thoughts on “Parent Bloggers. Are We Putting Our Children in Danger as They get Older 

  1. This is always something that sits in the back of my mind. I’m always nervous about how much I share. Worried about how my children might be perceived. About who follows my blog… I don’t have any answer’s though, so I look forward to reading peoples comments.

  2. My kids are all at the age where I talk with them on the things I post and as I have only been doing this for 6 months now I have never really thought about it much. I know for my kids even at a young age you can tell a lot about if they would be embarressed by how they re-act when telling the stories to say family members when they are around. Do they talk with you, do they laugh or do the go beat red and close off, all signs to show what things they might not like posted.

  3. Great post! I often think that, were I to start all over again, I wouldn’t include my kid’s real names or pictures of them. It’s too late now though so, as they get older, I’ll move into more general content and increase the use of generic stock images.

    1. I think this is really good advice. This post has made me worry a bit. Hopefully given my twins are under two I have a while to work out if I need to change my approach

  4. I often worry about this as the grem is starting to understand I get things through the work on my blog. I think as she gets older I will talk to her about it more and ask her what she thinks. I may then also start writing more generally and not specifically all about the kids. Great post though and thanks for hosting xx

  5. A very thought provoking post mate. There’s something in the back of my mind now even at the very young ages of my two about how this might be perceived later in life. I think as they get older I’ll open up discussion with them about posts and photos etc. just to ensure they are comfortable with what I put out there. Although I’m the writer I consider ours a family blog so certainly as they get older I want them to have some ownership over it. And, I’m sure at some point in the distant future, they’ll both embarrass themselves on social without my help haha.

  6. This is definately something to think about. I won’t put photos of me or my family on my blog, I’ve put one of the back of my daughters head on twitter, but that still felt wrong for me. I’m sure no photos doesn’t help my blog, but I have to do what feels right and not too intrusive. Hope we can all find a balance we feel happy with! #thatfridaylinky

  7. Very interesting stuff Nigel. I’d like to think there’s nothing in my blog that can be used as ammunition. We have 11 and 12 year old girls and believe me, neither them or their friends give a single shit about me and my blog lol.

    To be fair, they rarely feature as they are my step daughters so I don’t go into too much detail because they have their dad and a whole other family that I have to consider too.

    Corben is home educated so bullying is hopefully off the table for him as we can easily control and change his environment.

    Another way I see it, is that if you use any form of social media, vicious people will always find a way to get your stuff, so just be smart about what you put on there. It’s mainly pictures that would be used vindictively.

    Isn’t it a shame this has to exist.

  8. Blimey this gets you thinking doesn’t it?! Some bloggers use artier shots of their kids where they’re not as identifiable and maybe that’s worth considering? But then I like to share my children’s development too. I also use my kids names in my blogs although know alot of bloggers don’t. Definitely food for thought. Thanks for hosting #thatfridaylinky

  9. This is such an interesting point for consideration! I have posted a few blogs about the teen, all of which I have told her about/let her read before publishing. Now she has a good group of friends she has asked that I don’t make posts about her (but can mention her in other posts)
    With the little people, I suppose at some point it will be right to share the posts with them as they get older. I have also written some brutally honest posts about myself as a parent, and someone passed comment that it could affect my “employability” I think children will find a way to bully if they are that way inclined regardless of whether there is a blog they can refer to. I agree with protecting our children, and in such a digital age and I believe that should be done with education rather than censorship. We should continue to write our blogs if we feel we want to, and as you say above, once they are old enough to understand, of course let them have a say about what is shared about them. Thank you for posting! #thatfridaylinky

  10. Like most blogging parents, I should imagine, we think about and discuss this issue all the time. We don’t use their real names for this reason. For blogging it will always be Fidget & Little Man. But it’s true, you never know who is reading. I always get my partner, Helena, to agree with any post before I publish. We always vet photos as well.
    As for how they will feel abut being stars of a blog, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. At the moment, Fidget thinks it’s fun.
    Nice, thought-provoking post, Nige.

  11. I know some parents don’t want any photos of their children on the internet at all. I love my children and want to keep them safe and happy but I also want to share their experiences etc. I wouldn’t publish anything that I think might upset them in the future but I would delete anything they asked me too. #ThatFridayLinky

  12. There are two of us who write our blog and we are constantly checking with the other to see if they think it’s acceptable or safe to post the information which we do. We we would obviously never share a bath shot etc and we also ensure location services are switched off on our Instagram so it would be hard to pinpoint our exact location. It’s a tricky one. I guess once are children are older we will have similar issues about them feeling embarassed but we will just have to cross that bridge when we get to it. #ThatFridayLinky

  13. It’s something I have considered, I wonder whether I was completely wrong to use my son’s name in the name of my blog. Would I change it if I could rewind?! I’m not sure I would really because Entertaining Elliot encapsulates everything my blog is about and I didn’t want it to be another “mummy something” blog. I did however just google search images and you’re right, it’s worrying how many are out there! Great post, food for thought #thatfridaylinky

  14. After recently starting my blog I have wondered the same thing too. My eldest is now 16 years old and when he was little I would never have dreamed of putting pictures of him even on my Facebook account! But with my second (now 1 year) I have put a few baby images out there. Some on my personal Facebook account and some on my blog. I would never post without permission and I definitely think my teen will opt out! Which is absolutely fine of course! #thatfridaylinky

  15. This is interesting and one of the main reasons I never name my son or have any photos of him on my blog. But I guess because I’m not a Mum blogger I don’t need to worry about it. I guess all you can do is take each moment as it comes and if a situation arises deal with it then. Really thought provoking post Nige #thatfridaylinky

  16. Very interesting read. I chose not to name my children or to put photos other then one now and again but it’s their back etc. I changed my blog to not focus on the children and move towards what I enjoy. It’s a hard decision for all bloggers #thatfridaylinky

  17. Such a tough line to navigate. I always figure that when my son is old enough we will do a full review of anything online and purge what he doesn’t like. Until then I have to be the voice of reason and decode what I am comfortable sharing.

    And then my editor (wife) cuts the really good bits out. 😉

    Thanks for hosting #thatfridaylinky!

  18. This is interesting because I felt the same way with my old blog. I had far too many photos of my kids which anyone could see! Can you imagine the amount of information a stranger could potentially pick out from a photos of faces and recognisable areas? I am very careful this time round with photos I take. I’m also pondering on the idea of no faces in any of my photos too.

  19. It’s an interesting thought, one which one of my friends (and fellow bloggers) brought to my attention a while back. Until then I’d never really thought ‘what will Rory think when he’s older’. I guess I don’t expect my blog to that successful that his friends or their parents read it. I hope that he will never be embarrassed by anything I right but I would definitely take the same approach as you and remove the post if that was the case #thatfridaylinky

  20. I don’t have children, so I can’t really chime in here. However, I think you are a wonderful parent just by being sensitive to their emotions and not wanting to embarrass them. SO many of this generation’s parents seem to greatly enjoy humiliating their children for all of social media to see and read, so it’s really quite refreshing to see someone who doesn’t want to do that 🙂


  21. It’s not something that overly concerns me if I’m honest, perhaps it should more I don’t know, I kind of think a name is just a name ……hmmmm, I don’t blog about every inch of my life and perhaps when the kids are a bit older I won’t be focusing so much on them. Very interesting post!! Thanks for hosting #ThatFridayLinky

  22. Personally, I couldn’t be the blogger I was if I had to start censoring the things I said and the way I wrote. Photographs are a huge part of my blog, and without them I feel it wouldn’t be the same. That said, I do have my childrens feelings in mind when I write and I would never share something that would cross the line and come back to embarrass them in years to come. That said, who am I to know what my children will find embarrassing in their teens? I just hope that I am raising them in a way that they see my blog as something to be proud of. #thatfridaylinky

  23. Great post I’m not sure if this makes me a bad mother but iv never even give this a thought! my children are 5 and 1 and after reading this I need to sit and think.


  24. I always have this at the back of my mind, when I write I do so as honestly as I can but with the thought that once it is ‘out there’ it is out there. There is no going back.
    Pictures that I post of my children are carefully selected. As I am blogging about parenting and all things me, if I don’t need to use a picture of them then I wont. My social accounts are all private.
    As they get older, I think I will probably be more careful about this. From a safety point of view as well as preventing bullying a school etc.

  25. I have often thought about this too. I try not to post things that would be embarassing in the future. This is also one of the main reasons why nobody in my personal life, aside for my husband, knows about my blog. Once Peachy is old enough to understand, I will show it to her and after explaining the possible outcome, I will leave it to her to decide who should see it. #ThatFridayLinky

  26. I’m so aware of this, some very valid points. I try and keep my private fb and Instagram separate to my blogging ones and as a rule I try not to show my son too much, I’m concerned about digital footprint and what may happen in the future. #ThatFridayLinky

  27. This has been playing on my mind ever since my blog was just a stream of thoughts in my mind, I don’t want Elliot to look back when he’s older and feel embarrassed or feel like his every step has been documented. That’s why I’ve made the rule that my blog is predominantly a Happy place, it’s where I share happy moments, sometimes there is humour, sometimes there is an off day, but then they are my off days and laughs on my behalf not Elliots. It’s the same with Instagram I don’t put pictures of him there when he is sick or anything else that I don’t feel is dignified. Some might say that makes my blog “fake” but I see it this way, it’s far too easy to focus on the negatives! Like in a typical day in our home there has been lots of ups and downs and frustration, but I choose to focus on the positives! Life is too short to do anything else, and that is what I use my blog for to sit down at the end of the day and remember the positives. Thank you for sharing your thoughts xx #thatfridaylinky

  28. I initially was happy to put everything out there pictures and all, but as time goes on I have wondered how Ben would feel about it when he gets old enough to express his opinions and I think by that point I will block his face out of photos so he wont get recognised in school or when he is out with friends without me.
    I am also not going to divulge certain bits of information like school names etc. – after all he didnt ask to be involved in the blog!
    It gives him a sense of privacy, however being a successful Parent Blogger does require a part of your life being laid out for the world to see. But I’ll reign it in for him should he so wish. Maybe I can turn it into a Cat Lady Blog in years to come hahahahahahahahaha #thatfridaylinky

  29. I try and just rely on my common sense for this… I share a lot from my own perspectives, my own musings on other’s around me and their actions, but in a really generalised way. Or at least I try to! I rarely use real names, just abbreviations and nicknames, and if there is anything I think will be a bit revealing for someone mentioned on a post, I either check with them before I post it or chances are I shelve the post and don’t use it. I started the blog for my children, and for myself too really. It is their story. If they are embarrassed by it one day, I will take the posts offline but I shan’t ever delete them. At 16 I was embarrassed by my baby pics, now I relish them because I can compare against my own children and enjoy the memories. Same precedence happens with these written entries really. #thatfridaylinky

  30. This is a very interesting post Nigel! I can’t say that I haven’t thought about it because I most certainly have; however, I feel comfort in knowing that I have shared photos that I feel comfortable with people seeing. I have certain family (I use that term loosely) that I do not want my children to have relationships with and I know that they would search us online, I don’t want them to find pictures that are too personal therefore I go off the above method “only sharing stuff that I feel comfortable with people seeing”. Another great post Nigel #thatfridaylinky

  31. This has crossed my mind a few times but I honestly don’t know the answer. My daughter is only 5 months and I never use her name. Online she is always Baby (Ironically that was my nickname until I was about 10).
    I don’t post as much about my daughter as some others do but I have wondered several times at what point it starts being a little wrong to post about her and post pictures of her. As such, I try to talk about my experiences as a parent, rather than her experience as a baby. If that makes sense.

  32. Yeah the picture thing bothers me a bit but it’s a real hard one. Whilst you want your blog to be relatable, is it too much? It’s something that crops up every now and again with me and I never really know what to do for the best. Food for though for sure. #thatfridaylinky

  33. This is a really important consideration, not just for parent bloggers, but even for people sharing on social media. I had to think very carefully about my daughter’s privacy (now and when she is older) before I started my blog.

  34. I think it’s a delicate line to walk, the Hubster is much more bashful than I so he tends to become embarrassed. I always ask his opinion before I publish something that is about him. It’s harder for you since your twins are so young, they aren’t easily embarrassed about things right now but they may become so as they get older. I love how you’ll take things down at the request of your children, I think that’s a wonderful way to handle it as the twins grow older. #ThatFridayLinky

  35. My kids names are out there, but as I go along I refer to them more and more as the munchkin and the teenager. There are a lot of things that I leave out to try and preserve their privacy as they get older. Its something I try to keep in mind but not dwell on too much.

  36. This is something that I constantly think about and has been cause for arguments between my husband and I too. We have come to a compromise and so I don’t use my children names in my blog and social media nor do I post photos with their full faces on or wearing school uniform, outside of my home or their school. Also I’m careful with what I write about because I don’t want them to be embarrassed by it in the future but then again they might (just like your daughter did). It’s certainly very difficult and I suppose in the end it comes down to people’s personal choice how much they are comfortable sharing #thatfridaylinky

  37. I have to be honest I don’t post very many comments or pictures of my children online; the few that I do post get deleted after a few days. Everything we put on the internet essentially remains forever and can be found if people know how to look for it. Potential employers and universities do search for information on applicants online and I believe the information we put out there about ourselves and our children can be used to judge us in ways we never intended. I decided to set up an e-mail account for each of my children and record my thoughts and messages to them through private e-mails they could read in the future, rather than creating a public electronic footprint for all to see. Everyone is entitled to make their own choices and judgements about how they raise their children, but personally in today’s age of oversharing I think the most precious gift you can give your children is a private childhood.

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