Sports Day: Are You A Competitive Parent?
Sports day at your children’s school can bring out the best and worst in parents. Some parents will say it’s all about taking part and trying your best and that’s perfectly fine and ok, but in my humble opinion this doesn’t teach our children a winning mentality and let’s be honest life is very competitive no matter what occupation or path you take in life. It really is all about winning, well at least I think so.
When I was in primary school being politically correct simply didn’t exist. My aim on sports day was to win the sprint. I was good at it and I saw no reason why I wouldn’t be competitive and ultimately finish first. Of course that’s how I lived my life and it has never done me any harm.
With my older children I openly admit I taught them to be competitive and win, because I believed it would inspire them to achieve great things in their lives. I stand by that. I think it’s a lesson that helps them in life.
My eldest daughter was a really good sprinter and from nursery to year six she never lost the sprint. It was her moment in what was probably a fairly anonymous time in primary school. It’s where she shined and showed her potential. The feeling of pride from the sidelines always made my heart burst and I’m thinking that’s my daughter!
I believe that not everbody can be good at sports which the same can be said of not everybody will be the best at singing or acting or the best academic pupil in the class. We all have strong points and we all have weak points. So what’s wrong with concentrating on winning? Some children are brilliant academically, some are good at art. I’m sure you know what I mean, so if you are good at sports why not tell them that winning is good and that it’s not about taking part, it’s about being first.
I can’t for one minute imagine Mo Farrah being told it’s all about taking part. I really don’t think so! I’m sure from an early age it was hammered home to win! Nowadays we have very successful athletes. How does that come about? I think by teaching them a winning mentality.
There is nothing wrong in my humble opinion in wanting to win. If you are in business and you want it to be a successful business then you have to be the best, is that not the same as winning in sports? I think it is.
So my five year old twins were due to have sports day a few weeks ago, but due to the weather it was cancelled. It will now happen in the middle of June and I will be there to watch the girls. Will I be encouraging them to win? Yes, I will because nobody remembers who came second and I truly believe that it will help them achieve anything they want to do in life.
Sorry for those that think that it’s important just to take part. I Don’t! I’m a competitive person and I want to win at all costs and I will always teach my children that winning is important.
Would love to know thoughts. Are you a politically correct parent or a parent that encourages their children to win?
28 Comments
Dad
June 2, 2017 at 5:08 am
I agree with you, the world is a competitive place. I think we can teach our kids how to win gracefully, how to handle defeat respectfully, how to decide what is important to them and how it is through hard work that one finds success. We need to move away from the ‘every child gets a medal’ mentality, it does no-one any favours.
#ThatFridayLinky
Heather Keet
June 2, 2017 at 6:30 am
I’m not a parent, but I know I’d be a competitive one based one my love of competition. Though I like healthy competition, not bury your opponent until they’re crying competition. #ThatFridayLinky
Rach
June 2, 2017 at 7:51 am
I think I am to a degree. I’m more competitive with myself and am aware not to pass this on to my son, because to be frank, my competiveness can be a curse at times! Great post Nige! #thatfridaylinky
kerry
June 2, 2017 at 8:30 am
I think you are right, there is far to much nicey nice going on where sports are concerned, children that are academic are always receiving awards etc were as sports talented children don’t seem to get any praise because its always the “taking part” that counts so even children that ran, tried hard and came last are been handed an award for “trying”
I too don’t get it. If you loose then that’s what happens sometimes in life, you get back up and you try again, not loose but then wait for an award anyway because you “tried” don’t get me wrong my son is five and I will praise him for trying hard as I also think that’s important but I will b shouting fir him to win!!
#thatfridaylinky
Postcards For Findlay
June 2, 2017 at 10:44 am
Completely agree – the world is a competitive place and there is nothing wrong with wanting to win. When children sit exams, everyone doesn’t get an A just for taking part so why is it only sport which is demonised? Having said that, I am the lease competitive person ever when it comes to sport, so it won’t be pushing to the front of the parent race! #ThatFridayLinky
Sarah – mud cakes and wine
June 2, 2017 at 10:46 am
Oh interesting read. I do think children should want to do well and win the race. But the difference is pushing them into it, as long as they enjoy the run and want to win then I am happy. #thatfridaylinky
Jaki
June 2, 2017 at 12:19 pm
I guess it depends if they are good at it and whether they enjoy it. I hated Sports Day as a kid – purely because Sports was not my thing. I wasn’t good at it and when you are a child not being good at something and not winning can make you feel pretty rubbish, so Mum & Dad just told me to take part, not worry and concentrate my efforts on something I enjoyed and was good at. I’d still do anything I could to get out of it though!! 🙂 #thatfridaylinky
Maid in Dartmoor
June 2, 2017 at 12:23 pm
Not at all Im afaid, I’m not competitive at all, my girls are not really either! We enjoy taking part and trying new things. Although my 5 it old doesn’t like loosing very much! 😉
#thatfridaylinky
Sadie
June 2, 2017 at 12:47 pm
I sit in a middle ground with this, mainly because I see so many people having an issue with the “taking part” aspect of sports and think that the sporty kids should be praised, but when it comes to academic stuff you just wouldn’t rub it in the face of a child who couldn’t read. For me that’s the issue – children should be encouraged to try hard, to want to win, and praise should be given to those with talent or who put in the effort. But it’s also important that those who don’t achieve shouldn’t be made to feel like “losers.” I’m not sure giving everyone a medal is the best approach, but I do think we need to be mindful of how fragile confidence and ambition can be at a young age. And to be honest, if getting a medal no matter where he came in the race is more likely to encourage my four year old to happily take part in the race next time, I don’t see the harm. I’d rather he was happy to take part than switched off or felt upset about being there. The kid that won knows he won, he still gets his moment.
My teenage son is a competitive swimmer, and generally ranks fairly high for his age group. He isn’t the best, but he’s close. We foster his natural talent by encouraging him to be competitive with himself, and as a result he consistently hits PBs, wins his heats and develops all the time. I think that’s the sort of sportsperson we should be encouraging our kids to be.
#ThatFridayLinky
Sadie
June 2, 2017 at 12:48 pm
Haha, sorry for the essay!!
Sarah Howe @runjumpscrap
June 2, 2017 at 5:38 pm
I agree! I think no winning sports days are a bit mad. You have to teach your children to strive to be the best and realise they are not good at everything. They will have their talents. Thanks for hosting x
Musings of a tired mummy…zzz…
June 2, 2017 at 6:24 pm
I hate sports and sports day was an annual nightmare for me at school. Matthew didn’t win any of his race last year and was devastated. Anya won 3 out of 4 of hers (she is a September baby so was against some little ones who had no idea about the whole thing) #thatfridaylinky
Jemma Willson
June 2, 2017 at 8:04 pm
I’m neither a “politically correct” parent or a “competitive” one. I am happy for them to want to win, and urge them to try their absolute hardest to try and win. But if they don’t I won’t berate them and tell them anything else except how proud I am of them for trying their hardest.
#ThatFridayLinky
msmamabean
June 2, 2017 at 9:02 pm
I haven’t gotten to this day yet, but I would like to hope that I can tell my child that winning is important, but any less is not failure either. #ThatFridayLinky
Jo – Pickle & Poppet
June 2, 2017 at 9:19 pm
My children don’t go to school yet but I am frustrated already that it is now ‘taking part that counts’. The idea of eliminating competition is crazy, when they go into the big wide world and apply for that big job they wont get a ‘thanks for taking part in the interview process, you didn’t get the job but it was the taking part that mattered have a certificate’. School is about teaching children how to be ready for adulthood and we play a part in that and competition plays a massive part of that. So we will teach our kids it is about winning and how to deal with not winning! #ThatFridayLinky
keepmum
June 2, 2017 at 9:49 pm
I think both is important, although i do not see an issue in teaching your children to strive to win!
#thatfridaylinky
Helen Gandy
June 2, 2017 at 10:01 pm
My husband is competitive, he likes to win but its in his nature as he used to do alot of sport and the point if doing competitions is to win isn’t it at the end of the day! Of course we do tell Alfie that he doesn’t have to be upset if he doesn’t win but he needs to work harder to achieve his goals. Thanks for hosting #ThatFridayLinky
suz
June 2, 2017 at 11:32 pm
I have to admit, I’m not a competitive person, especially not at sports. I can’t run, jump, throw or catch to save my life. I wouldn’t even go as far as to say ‘it’s the taking part’. I would be perfectly happy not to take part at all.
I think it’s best to teach your children that winning is great but it doesn’t matter if they don’t come first.
#thatfridaylinky
David
June 3, 2017 at 9:05 am
Nail on the head! It’s great that everyone takes part, but not everyone can win. That goes for all walks of life. There will always be winners and losers in life and we should prepare our kids for that. Because of the current mentality, I think too many kids have the expectation that the world owes them; that they don’t have to fight for anything. They are then in for a short sharp shock when they hit the real world. Because the real world doesn’t care and won’t carry those who think they should be given everything not earn it.
Really nice post, Nige.
#ThatFridayLinky
Finn
June 4, 2017 at 10:11 am
Winning is important but not everything. Like so much in life, there is a balance to be made. I am far too competitive as a parent and the unashamedly biased refereeing of my son’s school football matches drives me mad – how is cheating teaching children anything? #ThatFridayLinky
jeremy@thirstydaddy
June 4, 2017 at 3:00 pm
my daughter is very competitive and it comes from both my wife and I. I want her to be the best at everything and so does she. Of course this is unrealistic, but its only by putting in the effort will we ever see.
Chloe
June 4, 2017 at 3:18 pm
Being competetive is a good thing but so long as you try the best that’s all that really counts #thatfridaylinky
Jade – Raw Childhood
June 5, 2017 at 1:07 am
I encourage my children to do their best and obviously encourage them to win! But it is not a bad thing if they don’t win, we just shrug it off and say better luck next time! #thatfridaylinky
Helena
June 5, 2017 at 11:13 am
I think it’s great to win but we should not be too hard on ourselves when we don’t. #ThatFridayLinky
MomOfTwoLittleGirls
June 5, 2017 at 1:40 pm
haha … agree. Here’s to all of us ‘competitive parents’ pushing our kids to be the best at what they are good at. No shame!
#thatfridaylinky
Autumn’s Mummy
June 5, 2017 at 8:41 pm
I’m not that competitive, but I think it’s healthy to be at least a little competitive. That drive helps you to get somewhere in life. #thatfridaylinky
Mrs Mummy Harris
June 8, 2017 at 6:59 pm
Im competitive and dont agree with local schools “no winners” policy. where is the sense of pushing for your dreams with letting everyone taking part get an award??!!!
I’ve been known to take a few classmates down in my PE days – some flukes, ok… mostly flukes. But I enjoyed it hahaha! #thatfridaylinky
Lisa Pomerantz
June 9, 2017 at 9:42 pm
Competition is important. Winning is good, fun, and can be graceful. Being a good sport, no matter the outcome is very important. Me personally, I am very, very competitive in sport… Tennis and running were the sports… now I’m much tamer and due to injuries, practice tai chi. Oh well. #ThatFridayLinky xoxo