Talking openly with your children
I have been a parent a long time now and one of the most important lessons I have learnt is to have an open relationship with them all. To never to be frightened or worried about talking about any subject with them.
What I have also learnt is that broaching certain topics which can often be personal is not to be decided by you when it will be discussed.
When they reach those teenage years they will decide when and how deep they want those conversations to go, but I have learnt that you need to be open to all sorts of conversations.
The conservations could be about sex, contraception,drugs, alcohol, relationships and numerous other topics and issues that may be happening in their lives.
When I was growing up I had no-one I could turn to, to ask about these sorts of issues. If I had any sort of problem or issue I had to sort it out myself or basically blag my way out.
This made me determined when I became a parent that my children could come to me and talk to me and ask my advice to help them solve any problems. I’m not saying that I have all the answers because I know I don’t, but I didn’t want them thinking I was not approachable and they couldn’t talk to me about anything.
My three older children, especially my oldest daughters have always come to me for advice and have never been shy in asking about personal things in relation to their lives.
In the world we live in today, life for younger people is complicated and sometimes very difficult with so many dangers and the youth sometimes can make bad decisions whether that is by peer pressure or as we all have done as a young person just not thought things through. Usually ending up doing something they will regret.
This is when a parent with a little bit of life experience is vital to guide and advise, and most importantly listen to their concerns.
This all brings me back to being open with your children from an early age. It’s vital to talk about all issues that your children will experience though their childhood,and hopefully apply this knowledge in adulthood.
How open are you with your children? I would love to know.
25 Comments
carol clarke
October 7, 2016 at 6:18 am
I do jope that I am open with my children as they grow up. I believe I generally quite open when asked things now but my oldest is only 6 so not having to many difficult questions yet.
Kath Scorer
October 7, 2016 at 7:45 am
Thats absolutely fab and I hope my children will feel that they can talk to me when they are older also. I must admit to trying to have open conversations with them now especially about mine and their daddies separation but it is tricky and I do tend to loose my head on some occasions when it all gets a bit too much after being their sole carer for a 6 day stretch. Must keep reminding myself that it’s tricky for all of us i guess! Thanks for the great linky #fridaylinky
Kath Scorer
October 7, 2016 at 7:48 am
Thats absolutely fab and I hope my children will feel that they can talk to me when they are older also. I must admit to trying to have open conversations with them now especially about mine and their daddies separation but it is tricky and I do tend to loose my head on some occasions when it all gets a bit too much after being their sole carer for a 6 day stretch and finding that theyve eaten a packet of cakes before 8am when my back was turned!
. Must keep reminding myself that it’s tricky for all of us i guess! Thanks for the great linky #fridaylinky
Natasha Mairs
October 7, 2016 at 7:58 am
I think it is really important to talk to our kids about absolutely anything. #ThatFridayLinky
Emma
October 7, 2016 at 8:03 am
Oh this is interesting. I am open with my children but I am dreading the “where do babies come from?” Oldest started to ask it the other day but then became distracted by a chocolate bar!! #ThisFridayLinky
Trace
October 7, 2016 at 8:59 am
This kind of openness will help children grow up to balanced and understanding adults
The Tale of Mummyhood
October 7, 2016 at 9:45 am
My two are still very young, so I’m taking this advice on board for future reference! Lovely family photos.
#thatfridaylinky
five little doves
October 7, 2016 at 10:02 am
I have always been very open with the children, especially now with my 12 year old as it is so important to make sure they know they can talk to you about anything. There are moments when he asks me questions, related to sex mainly, when I want the ground to swallow me up but I have to remember how good it is that he feels he can ask me these things and in that way I try to answer him honestly and openly! #thatfridaylinky
Amie
October 7, 2016 at 1:28 pm
I totally agree with this! I have done a similar post to this last year which I have shared on #ThatFridayLinky too. It’s lovely to see and read about like minded people
jeremy@thirstydaddy
October 7, 2016 at 2:27 pm
great advice Nige. I like the new look of the site.
Heidi Brown
October 7, 2016 at 2:45 pm
You sound like a great dad, I wish I had that growing up. A great attitude to parenting, I (hope) I have a few years before we hit the main stuff, but I hope I can be just as open and honest with my son 🙂
David Shaul – DadvWorld
October 7, 2016 at 3:02 pm
From now on Nige, how about I just copy and paste your blog posts onto my site and save myself some time….. 🙂
As usual I couldn’t agree more with how you parent. Being open is vital. I think our house is very open however we have the added dimension of our 11 and 12 year old daughters not being mine, biologically. I couldn’t be sure right now how this would make things different but I’m sure it would. They’re extra lucky I suppose, they have 2 Dad’s to speak with!
Great post 🙂
Elaine @ Entertaining Elliot
October 7, 2016 at 3:46 pm
I hope my son grows up to know he can talk to me about anything but I know its tricky with teenagers, I was very close to my parents but still didn’t feel like I could talk to them about sensitive subjects! #thatfridaylinky
Kellie
October 7, 2016 at 4:12 pm
I couldn’t agree more! Open communication is one of the keys to a great relationship with your kids. It develops trust and they always know there’s someone they can turn to for answers, which helps them grow. Great advice!
#thatFridayLinky
Mission Critical
October 7, 2016 at 4:55 pm
Great advice. A problem shared is a problem halved; I’d want my kids to feel like they could come to me for advice or help rather than worry about things. #ThatFridayLinky
Helen Gandy
October 7, 2016 at 9:02 pm
I really hope we can be an open family too, I hope that both my kids will be able to talk freely and openly with us, lovely post. Thanks for hosting! #ThatFridayLinky
Dadupnorth
October 8, 2016 at 8:12 am
Great post Nige. I’m personally guilty of not talking but I’m determined to encourage Effy to feel comfortable with both me and my OH to discuss even the most difficult topics. Your obviously doing a great job 👍👍 #thatfridaylinky
Eat Like You Love Yourself
October 8, 2016 at 10:01 am
I think all things have to be in reason. Judging where that line is though is difficult. #JustAnotherLinky
five little doves
October 8, 2016 at 5:31 pm
Returning from #justanotherlinky xx
Sarah Howe @runjumpscrap
October 8, 2016 at 5:40 pm
Great advice! My girlies are still pretty young but I think when the questions come I will answer them as honestly as I can! Thanks for hosting xx
Yosh
October 8, 2016 at 11:14 pm
This is such a great post. To have a responsible adult that we can talk to is a really really important thing when we go through teenage years or even when we are older. I am fortunate my mom is very open and I can discuss a lot of things with her.
I would like to do the same to my boys. It might be different since they are boys but I hope that my husband or I will always be there to help them out with any questions or challenges.
You are such a great father. thank you so much for inspiration. It is great to read your perspective who raise older children and also younger kids. You are a professional parent!! 😉
Rebecca
October 9, 2016 at 11:18 am
My little one is only two but i do strive to be as open as I can be with him in the future and I hope he will feel like he is able to turn to me at times when he needs advice… Im a fan of talking things through so I will try my best to pass that quality on to him <3 Great post and important to raise attention to this topic definitely.
David Mellor
October 10, 2016 at 7:04 pm
Another lovely parenting post. I completely agree that they’ll most often determine the timing of a lot of conversations with us only imposing them on them if we feel something is really up. Not having all of the answers is also fine, just being there to listen and discuss will often mean the world to them.
Potty Adventures
#thatfridaylinky
Dave – Dad’s Turn
October 11, 2016 at 8:46 pm
Good advice, and hopefully advice I’ll put into practice when Little Bear is old enough. Cheers!
#thatfridaylinky
Becci – The Unnatural Mother
October 12, 2016 at 11:07 pm
I would hope that i would be open with them as my parents where with me. God im glad the teenage years are a long way off #thatfridaylinky