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The first day at our local hospital

October 6, 2014

Following on from my last post, we arrived at our local hospital. When we arrived we were shocked at the size of the neo-natal unit. It’s a big hospital anyway, but when the reality of being there sunk in my wife and I felt emotionally battered.

We were had two very tiny babies. One of which had been in the intensive care unit on a ventilator and the other weighing just 2lb11oz. I felt happy that our girls were in cots, but strangely I felt guilty that other parents had very sick babies in incubators. I suppose if you’ve never had a baby on neo-natal unit, you just can’t begin to comprehend the emotional wreck it can turn you into.

Anyway. Here we are. This hospital had a lot more routine and rules in comparison to the first one we were in. Hands had to be washed on entering the ward no matter what and the only visitors allowed were the parents of the babies on the ward. No other family whatsoever was allowed. That was going to be strange. The only support we had was each other.

The neo-natal nurse introduced herself to us. She was accompanied by doctor came who did some initial checks on our girls. Over the course of the next few days as we all got to know each other, the doctor fondly nicknamed M – Fun Size M! Of course she was tiny because she still wasn’t much past her birth weight of 2lb11oz.

Not long after first arriving at the hospital, our new consultant arrived. She started giving instructions to the nurses and doctors, but at no point did she think to turn to us, the parents, to inform us of what was going on.

Unhappy was an under statement.

This is probably good point to mention that the doctors believed M had stopped growing in the worm due to IUGR. Intra-uterine growth restriction. As a result a lot of tests were ordered by the consultant. Still, the consultant didn’t speak to us.

I had to ask the nurse what the tests were for and how long it would take for us to receive the results. The nurse explained that they were looking for chromosomal disorders, down syndrome and anything that my wife could have potentially passed on during pregnancy. All of this goes to show what I have said before. Yes, the babies are the most important, but for goodness sake you need to inform and look after the parents.

Time was going on and neither my wife nor I had eaten. To be honest with you though you tend to forget to eat. The worry and never ending questions tend to take over. Although tonight we would we be going home to sleep in our own bed and leaving the girls overnight. It had been 10 days since we’d slept in our own bed. 10 days since my wife had been home.

As my wife was expressing for our babies we needed to sort out an electric breast pump for my wife to bring home. The hospital had pumps for mums to take home, so that was one less thing to worry about. It was a hospital grade pump which meant it was more powerful and quicker than my wife’s manual pump!

7pm arrived and the nurses changed shifts which meant we had to leave for the staff changeover. We decided to drive down to KFC so that we could have something quick to eat and return to our girls as soon as we could.

We spent the night just sitting by our girls bedsides, knowing that at some point we are going to have to leave and go home. Without them.

During that same evening we were given some forms to fill in that meant we would receive discounted food and car parking. I could be wrong, but surely this should be free for parents with children who are in hospital for a long stay.

Eventually, the time for us to leave for the night had come.

I felt like somebody was ripping my heart out and my wife started to break down which set me off too. I had to keep it together. Thankfully we didn’t live far away.

All I remember from that night is feeling totally exhausted, emotionally, as well as physically. I just needed to sleep, but I felt guilty that we’d left the girsl. My wife and I just held each other, but deep down something was missing. Our girls. They should be home with us, but they weren’t.

2 Comments

Catriona Stephen

October 6, 2014 at 7:40 pm

I can't believe how much they seemed to keep you in the dark about things! And I don't think hospitals should charge for anyones parking, but especially for people in situations like you were. I'm glad you were all able to move to your local hospital. Aww you can tell there was quite a size difference between the two of them from the photos

1. Nigel
  
  October 6, 2014 at 8:09 pm
  
  Yes unfortunately they do keep you in the dark, but thank you for your comments 🙂