Our time at the first hospital comes to an end
Following on from my last post, my wife and I felt much more settled. Knowing where we would be sleeping every night made a huge difference. As did being close to our girls. We could be with them 24/7. It was very comforting.
The hospital arranged for my wife to have free food in the cafeteria because she was a breastfeeding mum which was great news because it meant one less thing we had to fork out for. As a self-employed dad, when I have time off I don’t earn money, so things were starting to get tight on the financial side.
Anyway, I was now able to drive home which meant that I could collect some things to help make our life easier.
The next few days passed by in a blur. Nothing much changed. R was still on a ventilator, but by day six they started easing her off so spent longer breathing on her own.
My wife was expressing a lot of breast milk to be given to our girls via a nasogastric tube – tube which went into our girls noses, down their throats and into their stomachs.
During the third day we were allowed to hold M. It was fantastic…but upon holding her for the first time I realised how tiny she was. She was so defenseless, vulnerable and such a long way from coming home. It just reduced me to tears again.
This roller coaster of emotion was never ending. It’s strange, but your life becomes one of routine. The end results of which was to get our girls home. Over the next few days we were able to hold both our girls more and more.
My wife tried to breast feed, but the girls were so tiny that they just didn’t have the energy and would fall asleep quickly. This meant tube feeding was definitely the way forward for the time being.
Our consultant spoke to us about moving the girls back to our local hospital, but aound day seven it was decided that the girls would be staying put until they were discharged. This was good I guess because at least we knew where they were. A little later the same day, or it may even have been the next day, I really can’t remember, the consultant told us that our local hospital was demanding that our girls be transferred back to them.
Day nine arrived which meant it was time for our girls to be moved back to our local hospital one at a time.
I couldn’t believe that there was only one ambulance which was equipped enough to carry premature and ill babies. They had to cover such a massive area. You’d think that there would have been more, but afraid not.
There was also no guarantee that they could get both our girls the same day. We were told under no uncertain terms that if an emergency arised, they would have to have leave one of our girls in our local hospital and the other in the current hospital we were in.
That would have been such a nightmare. Emmotionally, but also logistically.
Anyway, R was loaded into this huge incubator. It looked like something from the future. My wife and I both decided to stay with M whilst we waited to find out if the ambulance crew would be back for M the same day. It was such a huge sinking feeling in my heart. We were about to be parted from one of our children. She was only nine days old. My wife and I were completely inconsolable.
I remember trying to stay strong, but yet again emotion got the better of me. R was on the ambulance and I went outside to see her off. The consultant was running toward me, making her way back to the neo-natal unit.
She told me that an emergency call had come in, so there was no way that they would be back for M the same day.
We were given a choice.
Did we want them to bring R back to the ward and let them try to transfer both our girls the following day.
It was an easy decision.
We wanted them to bring her back. We always said worst case scenario was splitting our girls because that would split us too.
It was so emotional. Seeing R moved and then starting what felt like the longest few hours of our lives whilst we waited to hear if they’d be back for M.
It felt like an eternity. Thankfully, the ambulance turned back and loaded M into the back. We were on our way. One step closer to home. The relief was immense.
Now we had to drive back to our local hospital – which I think I did in record time! I parked the car and we rushed straight to the neo-natal unit.
The incubators were gone! Oh it was wonderful!
This was the home run now.
There was still plenty of time to go though.
As I’m self employed I was unable to work. Obviously this meant I wasn’t earning money, so I wasn’t bring a wage home and there was just no help available in that situation.
Thankfully we had some money to get us by, but I do wonder what would of happened if we didn’t.
Stay tuned for my next post which is coming soon!
7 Comments
Ffion Davies
October 4, 2014 at 4:26 pm
Thank you for sharing this amazing experience with us. My heart goes out to you and your family and I hope R + M the best of luck!
Ffion
@awelshblog
http://www.asouthwalesblog.com
Nigel
October 6, 2014 at 8:12 pm
Hi Ffion. I'm glad you are finding our story of interest. Thanks for visiting 🙂
Vicki Montague
October 17, 2014 at 9:02 am
Ah, what wonderful news for you! You little babies look totally adorable. Hang in there. They will be home soon! Sending strength to you all…
Emily
October 17, 2014 at 7:42 pm
Another great post hubby. I remember it like it was yesterday. Thanks for linking up to the #binkylinky
Victoria Welton
October 17, 2014 at 11:17 pm
Wow! What a really wonderful post. Boy did you both ride the rollercoaster of emotions. You went through so much with those gorgeous girls, such strong people. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo 🙂
Loving life with little ones
October 18, 2014 at 5:35 pm
What a lovely sight to see them in cots and a surprise I bet too! #binkylinky
Kylie Hodges
March 10, 2015 at 4:56 pm
The stress of moving units is so immense, and there are so many factors at play. I know of friends with triplets who have had babies in three units split hundreds of miles apart. Utterly heartbreaking but sometimes necessary. You are completely right about the financial implications too. My husband wasn't self employed but was unable to take leave so I did the entire thing pretty much on my own and our stay was 76 nights.