What makes you a good father
I believe that situations that happen in your life make you the person you are.
My own father left when I was eight years old so consequently I grew up for most of my childhood without a father figure in my life.
He left to be with another woman. I’m not judging that.
That was his decision. It’s his life after all, but the woman he left for, now I know didn’t want any baggage and unfortunately for me, he left behind his responsibility as a father of three children mainly because he was a weak man, because he should have stood his ground but he didn’t.
So for me the lessons were there to be learnt. My first marriage ended in divorce and produced three children and there were many obstacles put in my way by my ex-wife in stopping me seeing my children. One of the first lessons I learnt from my father was nothing gets in the way of me having a relationship with my children and by that I mean being a full-time dad.
I went on to meet the love of my life and maybe I was lucky, but my wife never stood in the way of me seeing my children. She always understood how important it was for me to be in my children’s lives. We went on to have twin girls and my older children had two new sisters.
I am now in a very happy place with fantastic relationships with all my children who all come to me for help or to talk or whatever they may need. This would never have happened had I not had a consistent relationship with them, something that I failed to have as a child.
Finally the lessons I learnt were not to give up on your children. They are a responsibility for life.
My own childhood taught me to be the best dad that I could be and actually I think I am pretty good.
All children want and need is love, attention and to be cared for. Something I sadly missed in my own life.
13 Comments
Sarah Howe
October 28, 2015 at 1:18 pm
I think parents do screw up sometimes and it can really affect you but for you it's been turned around into something positive. That's being a great father to your children and will help them know how to be good parents too. Great post and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst and see you soon x
john adams
October 29, 2015 at 7:05 am
I don't want to say too much about my childhood, but I grew up largely without my natural father. I learned many similar life lessons and as a result, take the same approach to parenting and fatherhood. It is a responsibility, first and foremost and must be treated that way. #BrilliantBlogPosts
Leslie Rickerby
October 30, 2015 at 8:48 am
I keep seeing a meme thing floating around facebook saying 'Your ex is not your childs ex' and I agree. Sometimes relationships don't work and I get that but that doesn't mean you can't make your relationship with your children work. Sadly thats not always the case. My dad left when I was 9. We stayed with him every weekend. That quickly became every other weekend, which then became once a month and now? I saw him at a wedding about 5 years ago. He's never met my 2 year old and I doubt he'll make an effort to, despite me inviting him to several times. I'm done now. I'm not chasing a parent anymore, when I can concentrate on being one myself and doing a damn better job at it.
Jodie Allen
October 30, 2015 at 10:00 am
From the age of 11, I had no mother in my life so I understand what you mean. Now I have my daughter nothing could get in the way of our relationship. Well done for being a proper dad, you should be proud and I am glad you finally found happiness with your wife 🙂 Thanks for hosting #binkylinky
Bethan Sian
October 30, 2015 at 4:47 pm
I can relate to this post. My mother hardly did anything with me. She has been in and out of my life and I haven't seen or spoken to her for nearly a year now. It's so confusing how a parent could drop responsibility of their child x
sam r
October 30, 2015 at 8:09 pm
Well sounds like you are better father and you are being a good role model. Sounds like your children are very lucky to have a dad like you. I am glad that you are in a happy place and that your wife excepts you fully with all the package. X
Kara Guppy
October 31, 2015 at 8:44 am
I came from a broken home and I remember it being very tough as I was pulled and pushed between one parent and another. I resolved to let that never happen to mine but sadly my daughter's father picks her up when he feels like it and now she is an adult they have a really fractious relationship. Thankfully her step-dad has been a constant and although they battled at points, they are very close. popping by from Just another Linky
Becster
October 31, 2015 at 10:36 am
Every child needs their Dad I think. I grew up with my Dad & Taid – my mam left when I was young. But I still was in contact with her and we have a good relationship. It all works out well for us. And it looks like it's working out well with you now! #JustAnotherLinky
Entertaining Elliot
October 31, 2015 at 11:43 pm
What a lovely photo of you and your beautiful children xx #justanotherlinky
Something Crunchy Mummy
November 1, 2015 at 9:53 pm
Great post! your children are very lucky to have you as a father #binkylinky xx
Random Musings
November 2, 2015 at 12:50 am
I totally agree – you divorce spouses, not children. It would put me off a man if he wanted to walk away from his children.
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
Debbie
Something Crunchy Mummy
November 4, 2015 at 3:00 pm
Popping back from #justanotherlinky. Thanks for linking up x
you baby me mummy
November 4, 2015 at 8:37 pm
Great post. Nothing would stop me seeing my daughter, so I know how your feel. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x