What Makes Your Child Feel Secure

My oldest child, J, had to have a blanket and a dummy. The blanket was a pink fleecy one with a silk edge. She would not go anywhere without it! In fact I had two blankets because one of them was always being misplaced and she would never go out or to sleep without holding the silk edge of her blanket and she had to have a dummy in her mouth too.

She was fast approaching starting nursery and the blanket and dummy were still very much the most important things in her life! Eventually at about five years of age I had the dummy surgically removed and cut up! As for the blanket she may still have it!

My second daughter, E,  had what I would call a very interesting form of feeling secure. I think it was just me. I didn’t need to look for my own shadow because she was mine 24/7!

Wherever I went she was right beside me! If I sat down she was right next to me! If we were walking anywhere holding my hand tight was E! In fact fast approaching her teens and we could be walking though town and she had to be right next to me almost stepping on my toes, but it was all ok because it made her feel happy and secure and I kind of of loved that!

My son A had a very interesting way of going to sleep he would lie in my arms and would play with my hair. Twirling it around and around until I thought he was going to pull it out by the roots! Actually there were times it actually hurt, but it worked and he always went to sleep that way!

The twins amazingly – I bet you’re surprised! – have also got comforters.


R, well she went though a selection of cuddly dogs and finally settled on a brown dog, which goes absolutely everywhere with her> She also has a pink and red blanket which my wife ‘borrowed’ from the SCBU unit when they were babies. Three years on and we still it and of course she also has a dummy too.

M was a little bit different while we were on holiday in Menorca two years ago I had a pair of brand new £50 Holister shorts. M used to play with the cords on the shorts as she was drifting off to sleep. It made her feel secure. 


Over the next six months I slowly began to lose ownership of my shorts as M eventually went out with her mum and sister and refused to leave the house without the shorts! So for me it was bye-bye shorts!


Over the next month or so she became attached to her SCBU blanket, a baby doll, the shorts in particular and also a dummy!

It’s funny because both of the girls have to be convinced to have them washed. This at times can take days until eventually they put them in the washing machine themselves and then immediately on a radiator to dry because they simply can’t live without them!


As for the dummy’s, much like their older sisters I’m sure these will have to be surgically removed too!

What I find fascinating that all five of my children have had some sort of comforters, but there is by no means any set formula! If it works use it!