When to advise and when to just listen
I am the dad of two teenage girls.
When I read what I have just written fear strikes deep inside of me.
One of the hardest things I have had to deal with is teenage girls in love!
Why? I hear you ask yourselves.
Why? I hear you ask yourselves.
Well, I’ll tell you!
As a father, your children will come to you for advice, but they won’t actually have any intention of using that advice!
The result? You’re always caught between the devil and the deep blue sea as the saying goes!
As a father, your children will come to you for advice, but they won’t actually have any intention of using that advice!
The result? You’re always caught between the devil and the deep blue sea as the saying goes!
My oldest daughter is 19 now, but when she was 17 she was going out with a young man of 20. Now I will say he was a nice bloke and I have to also say thought that he just wasn’t right for her.
He was a person with no future prospects at all. He never worked in his life and I remember my daughter coming to me asking for my advice. Foolishly, I was honest and I gave my opinion and advise, but I didn’t realise at the time that she was going to go the opposite way to my advice.
The problem with teenage daughters is that they always know best!
They can be temperamental! As a result I just tend to listen and not give any advice! If I do feel the need to give advice, I’ll do it in a more subtle way.
He was a person with no future prospects at all. He never worked in his life and I remember my daughter coming to me asking for my advice. Foolishly, I was honest and I gave my opinion and advise, but I didn’t realise at the time that she was going to go the opposite way to my advice.
The problem with teenage daughters is that they always know best!
They can be temperamental! As a result I just tend to listen and not give any advice! If I do feel the need to give advice, I’ll do it in a more subtle way.
I think being a teenager is a minefield nowadays. There is so much peer pressure to fit in and people don’t tend to just allow you to be yourself.
I think I tend to just agree with what they say!
Unfortunately when your teenage daughter rings you at nine o’clock at night crying her eyes out after a big argument with her boyfriend, whilst sitting in her car, as a dad you become very protective and just want wrap your arms around them and tell them everything will be ok. Because you know it will be in the end. We’ve all been there at the same age, although God forbid your children don’t think you have had a broken heart!
So I have decided to just listen and not critisice their boyfriend. Although that’s easier said than done!
6 Comments
benrobb
October 29, 2014 at 3:08 pm
My daughter is only 8, but I dread the day when I have to deal with this.
mental parentals
October 29, 2014 at 10:00 pm
I can only imagine what it's like to have a teenage daughter! Good luck, Sir!!
Lauraevelyn bee
October 31, 2014 at 12:01 pm
Awww…its so tricky isn't it!
My two year old is never going to be allowed to date and I am thinking of building a tower, pretty similar to the one in Tangled! 🙂
#PoCoLo
Andy Davis
November 1, 2014 at 8:01 pm
I have two daughters 5 & 2 and this scares the life out of me. I think this is very good advice, although it must be very hard to follow!
Debbie Roberts
November 2, 2014 at 10:33 am
I totally agree with you, sometimes it's best just to listen, nod and be there with a hug. I have a teenage son and daughter and at the end of the day they always think they know best, after all what do we know? We are only parents!
Popped over from #PoCoLo.
Lysa Wilds
November 4, 2014 at 1:29 am
As I have two teenage daughters I have to completely agree…teenage girls in love is a train wreck waiting to happen and sooooo annoying at times but we as parents know that if we say anything it will not compute in their brains just yet. The best we can do is love them and support them by listening and be there when they need support and love in the aftermath of a relationship gone wrong. In the end we do know best only because we have lived through it all before and just want to save them from themselves. Thanks for sharing!