My Two Eldest Daughters Have Grown Up 

There was definitely a point in my mid to late teens that it was not cool to be seen in public with my parents. In my case it was just my mum. The days of going to Tesco to do the weekly shop was a big NO NO! Just in case I bumped into any of my friends. Conversation between the two of us became less and was usually limited to what I wanted to eat for tea, and if you are going out what time will you be home. 

There was a time before this that I would have long conversations with my mother about life and everything else. I would always ask her advice if what I was planning was the right thing to do. 

When I moved out of home the contact between us would amount to probably a phone call a week and maybe a fortnighly visit. After all I was growing up, becoming an adult and I didn’t want anyone especially my mother telling me that it was a mistake when I was about to do something.  After all how was I going to learn if not by my own mistakes. OMG! I’m an adult, I know what I’m doing. I remember screaming that at my mother. Yes a teen that knows it all! Now the reality was I didn’t have clue! I was winging it. 

My eldest two daughters are now 22 and 19 respectively and the one is living with her boyfriend in a rented flat and the other is 200 miles away at university. 

I would like to think that I don’t embarrass them in anyway especially out in public, but the truth is I have oh no! Pleas ! I’ve turned into my mother! I’m always ready to give advice when it’s probably not wanted haha! Because they are now where I was all those years ago growing up and developing hopefully into responsible adults which I believe they are. 

Over the last few years they have both come to me for advice and being the typical parent I was not shy in giving it. Sometimes they would listen to my advice and act upon it but occasionally I would get you have no idea Dad, I don’t know why I even asked you and if this was a phone call it would result in hanging up on me, followed by a closing remark of I don’t want to talk to you about it anymore. Which of course was exactly how I was when I was their age! I couldn’t be told haha! 

Growing up is tough whether it’s now or 20 years ago. It’s never been easy unfortunately you don’t have the benefit of experience to draw upon to make a decision that is right for you and invariably advice given to you by a parent can be totally wrong for you. More often than not it’s good to trust your very own instinct because that will usually be the answer. Nowadays when they ring with possibly a problem I tend to listen and not start to lecture saying that you have to do it this way or that way. My most common reply is well best you do what is good for you. 

Both of my older daughters still ring and text, but as they are getting older I hear from them less, but that’s fine because I was no different and they are leading very busy lives with a different set of priorities. Just like I did when I was their age. I know that as they get older the closeness that was there when they were children resurfaces just like it has with my own mum who I speak to or see every day. 

Life and relationships with your children goes through many different stages and this is just one of them, but if the bond with your children was cemented strongly when they were little this phase will pass and normal service usually resumes as the years pass by. 

It has taught me one thing and that is that I have five year twin girls and I realise now the years disappear in a flash so we should try not to miss anything when they are little. 

Would love to know your thoughts